HIV And AIDS Among Youth And Young Adults

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Youth and young adults between the ages of 13 and 24 in the United States are among the highest risk groups of being infected with HIV. The CDC reports that the greatest number of new HIV infections within this age group are among gay and bisexual males, with African-American and Latino males who have sex with other men being at even greater risk.

Why is this population increasingly at risk? There are a myriad of reasons, including a lack of sexual education and information promoting abstinence and delaying initial sexual encounters. These groups are also among the highest populations suffering from substance abuse, homelessness, and sexually transmitted infections.

Looking at global numbers, a young person becomes HIV-positive every 30 seconds. Studies have shown that the majority of youth and young adults in the U.S. are not afraid of contracting HIV, which equates to low testing rates and low rates of condom use. While there are an increasing number of HIV and AIDS awareness promotion programs, youth advocacy, and health counseling, the data translates to a dire need for greater outreach efforts.

The best way to prevent infection with HIV is abstinence. Secondly, reducing the number of sexual partners, avoiding unprotected sexual encounters, and being tested regularly are the most important steps you can take to prevent infection or spreading the virus. More than half of the percentage of youth infected with HIV/AIDS were not aware that they had the virus.

While many young adults are not concerned with contracting HIV, a large number are still in denial of the increasing risk of contracting and spreading the virus. Even if you think you are not at risk, it is recommended that you get tested regularly. Speak to a professional today, there are a number free test sites available as well as youth programs and counseling services .

Is Coming Out At Work The Right Choice?

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Making a decision about coming out is a difficult one.  If you’re lucky, you already know you’ll have needed support from your family and friends. The decision about whether to come out at work can be especially risky for some. There’s no right or wrong answer for everyone in general, but it might be helpful to weigh the pros and cons.

Pros

You might become more relaxed
It takes up a lot of our mental energy to try to ‘pass’ in any way at work. We have to be vigilant about using gender neutral pronouns and possibly feel as if we need to behave in a more feminine or masculine way than we actually feel. Coming out could be just what’s needed to take the load off of our shoulders. Without all of that worry and pretense, other things can be focused on, such as building professional relationships.

You’ll know who’s not on your side
Those who knew of your capabilities before you came out will have no choice but to acknowledge it, even if not out loud. It can also stop any hate speech that might have occurred before because bigoted co-workers will know that it’s now personal.

You’ll find out who supports you
You never know, you might find out you have a fellow co-worker in the LGBT community in the next cubicle over! Plus, you might inspire someone to come out if they haven’t already.

Cons

You might get attention you don’t want
You might not want everyone to know. Some co-workers may think that your coming out is an invitation for them to ask personal questions about your sex life. They won’t care or even understand that it’s inappropriate. You might be working with some seriously hateful (even threatening) bigots. Of course you should be able to rely on HR to have your back, but that might not actually happen.

It could turn out to be dangerous
There’s a chance you might lose your job after coming out, even if it is against company policy. There are always cases of people making up false reasons for ‘letting you go’ or cutting down hours until there aren’t any left. Try to understand the atmosphere of your workplace first. There are countries where you can be fired after coming out. Check out the laws first. It’s ultimately your decision to come out, or not.

Sexual Safety During Pregnancy Possible For Lesbians Too

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Worrying about the safety of sexual activity is not something limited to heterosexual couples. Many lesbian couples worry, too.  Thankfully, there’s generally no reason to avoid intimacy when you’re expecting. However, there may be certain activities your doctor will advise you to avoid if you are considered a high-risk pregnancy.

Pregnant lesbians may find the topic of sex to be a touchy subject. During pregnancy some women experience heightened senses and an increased libido, while others lack sexual desire completely. Some have partners who are afraid of injuring the baby and, as a result, put any sexual feelings on the back burner.  It’s important to keep in mind, though, that most pregnant women want to be intimate and many want to participate in sexual activity.

Even if genital sex is not desired, there are other ways to go about creating intimacy such as massage, kissing, and touching.  The majority of types of lesbian sexual activity, including light penetration, is safe for most pregnant women. However, it’s important to stay away from certain activities such as rough S&M, deep thrusting, or fisting. Do not continue any sexual activity that triggers any discomfort. Avoiding sex toys such as vibrators, dildos and strap-ons are suggested since there’s difficulty in knowing where they’re touching exactly.

During pregnancy, it’s important to take time for yourselves.  Otherwise, you’ll find that you won’t naturally have that emotional energy. Take time to get together with friends and family. This is especially important if you’re a single pregnant woman, finding that you’re isolated from most of the lesbian community during this time. Perhaps you’ll even find it worth considering to give yourself a spa day.

And, if you are in a partnership, include your loved one for the spa day. You needn’t even visit a spa. Stay home, give each other massages, have a special dinner together, and even a gigantic dessert. Why not? At least once in awhile.

This is not an easy time for couples, in general, but it can still have more ups than downs. You can both keep your relationship fresh, especially when remembering that you’re going to have to take it more slowly than usual. You might have actual sex less, but find that you’ll become more intimate with your partner in ways that you never imagined.

What is Cisgender Privilege?

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First, it’s helpful to know what the term “cisgender” means. This means that a person’s gender matches the sex they were assigned at birth and then a person’s gender matches the gender by which others perceive them. The term has been around for over 25 years and is used a lot in educational settings, particularly when discussing gender identity and expression in trans and queer communities.

Cisgender privilege shows how gender/sex alignment means being free from having to think about or address things that those who are not cisgender do quite frequently.

The following are some examples of privileges you might have if you are cisgender:

  • You are not misgendered. People refer to you by the correct pronouns every day.
  • People do not ask you nosy questions about you are genitalia, what type of medical procedures you’ve had, and your real gender is not in question, or connected with the genitalia another assumes you have.
  • You are able to get into sex segregated facilities such as bathrooms and events that are in alignment with your gender identity without being questioned, refused, or at risk of harassment or even physical violence.
  • When you search for employment, housing, banks, go to vote or receive medical treatment, you don’t have to worry about your gender or what others perceive your gender to be.
  • In the unfortunate event that you are a victim of physical and/or sexual assault, you don’t have to fear being blamed because of your gender expression or identity and you don’t have to fear that the attacker will be allowed a reduced sentence due to what is called “trans panic defense.” Some in the law profession still believe this argument is viable and that it partially excuses violent assault or even homicide.

Cisgender privilege is incredibly wide-ranging. It’s a lot for the non-privileged person to have to deal with on a daily basis and leaves little else for them to think about. This includes those who were incorrectly sex-assigned at birth and those who make a choice to present as a different gender, as they are distinct from each other.

Don’t be mistaken, many gay, bisexual, and lesbian folks have cisgender privilege. For example, it’s very possible for a gay man to be gender-conforming. The fact he presents physically as a man means that he won’t be challenged when attempting to use male designated facilities or attend events for men. On the other hand, if a heterosexual man was sex-assigned female at birth, he may face his life being challenged or harassed for not being “man enough.”

If you recognize yourself as cisgender, perhaps you’ll understand privileges you’ve previously taken for granted and try to help those you know who are gender non-conforming or transgender.

Gay Men’s Health & Healthcare Providers

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Have you ever had a healthcare provider who didn’t understand you?

Maybe you just didn’t feel comfortable with him, or maybe she was outright rude. Either way, having an open relationship with your physician is extremely important. Aside from the fact that you don’t want to work with someone looking down their nose at you, being able to raise concerns and discuss health issues openly and honestly is a major contributor to your long-term health.

As a gay man, there are a couple of issues that are particularly important to discuss with your healthcare provider.

#1 HIV/AIDS

Men who have sex with men are at disproportionately high risk for contracting HIV, in addition to other sexually transmitted infections. Many infections may not initially show symptoms so following up regularly for check-ups and discussing your sexual practices with your physician may end up making all the difference in the long run. Many healthcare providers are also able to provide you with other resources and referrals – when it comes to your doctor, it’s always good to talk!

#2 HPV

The serious effects of HPV have only recently hit the forefront of health news. HPV has many strains, but it is mostly known for being the virus that causes genital warts. Genital warts are generally easy to treat, your healthcare provider can prescribe a removal cream, or, if needed, laser treatment. The concern with HPV isn’t the genital warts as much as it is cancer. Unfortunately, there aren’t many other symptoms of HPV to warn you, but the virus is now being linked to increased levels of anal and oral cancer. Oral sex can transmit HPV to the mouth and throat, causing problems in the long run. The virus is also transmitted through anal sex, possibly causing anal cancer. While this is difficult to test in men, keep up to date with your check ups.

If you are a sexually active man, find a healthcare provider that you are comfortable with and check in regularly. Reach out to a professional today!

10 Things Transgender Men Would Like You To Know

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Transgender persons exist in a subculture within a subculture, one that, in the mainstream, is not always well-accepted or even simply understood. To be a trans ally, to be considerate of the lives and social experience of trans individuals, might require that you reevaluate your relationship with the transgender individuals in your life. Trans men, specifically, have a distinct experience from trans women — here is what you should know:

You’re guilty by association.
You’ll have more questions asked about them than they will.  This is because people who are curious and confused will often feel more free to ask someone for information when they feel that the person shares a similar experience.  You should talk to your trans friend about what they’re comfortable with you sharing in these situations.  If the case is that they prefer not to be outed, tell them simply that it’s not your place to answer those questions.  If they’re open about their transition, try to find out how to answer or divert these questions.

“But you’ll always be _____ to me” is hurtful.
It’s one thing seeing a relative you haven’t since they were a small child, saying they’ll always be so-and-so to you, but different when relating with a transgender person.  Telling your friend that you still see them as someone other than who they are is hurtful.

Outing someone can be incredibly dangerous.
There is an overwhelming amount of ignorance/hatred toward trans people, despite some media and support.  Hundreds of transgender people are murdered yearly; there are no and/or failed protection laws in place.  Even if you think talking about your transgender friend in public is OK, the wrong person could overhear this and tell another friend, and that friend tells another–this could lead to some serious danger.

The dysphoria is not your fault.
You might feel like you’re responsible for their happiness, but sometimes their sadness comes from a place you’ll never be able to reach.  Trying to make your friend feel better by telling them you love their breasts, or you like them just the way they are, isn’t necessarily supportive.  It means you’ve created an image of who they are that doesn’t match up with reality.

It’s not the “T”.
It’s a huge moment in life to begin hormone replacement therapy.  Your friend might lash out afterwards and blame it on the testosterone.  They’re aware of the emotional changes that happen and realize their mood swings/imbalance are theirs to control.

Don’t walk on eggshells.
It’s easy to get hung up on words and just avoid conversations as a result.  You’re there for your friend and it shows that you care.  Many transgender people lose or don’t have a support system when they come out…the fact that you’re with them is meaningful.

Don’t date them despite their trans status.
Make sure you are interested in dating them for who they are, not despite their transgender status.  You’re not doing them any favors by being interested in them ‘even though’ they’re transgender.

Don’t talk behind their back.
Talk to them about it; learn their

Pronouns are mean a lot.
They have likely chosen a new name and have preferred gender pronouns.  Learn them.  Sure, you might mess up in the beginning, but it’ll be obvious when you genuinely care and are trying!

Being A Better Trans Ally: Gender Pronouns

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Many of us are so used to having conversations that involve a limited amount of pronouns that we take for granted (he/she, his/her, they/theirs) because (when speaking English) we must assign a gender when we’re speaking about one person.  We need to understand that others, particularly trans people, ask to be referred to by different pronouns than we might assume we should use.

Singular pronouns such as “ze” and “hir” are the more common new ones for those not wishing to use “he” or “she”.  Changing pronouns can be a significant part of coming out as trans.  This can sometimes cause a lot of emotional pain when they’re met with negative responses, even violence.  Here are some major reasons why it is incredibly important to use the correct gender pronouns as a trans ally:

We’re helping shape our culture with language

Language is very powerful and we often take the words we use for granted, passing them off as insignificant, gender pronouns included.  Language spreads more quickly than ever now due to Internet and social media sites.  We are validating and making visible those who wish to be described and identified in a way that doesn’t fit into a strict gender binary.  Using the correct gender pronouns, even when we’re not with our loved one, is important and respectful.

We’re showing respect to their reality

Trans people are often told what’s best for them by doctors, politicians, schools, and anyone else who wants to deny their reality with a gender pronoun or name that invalidates who they really are.  It’s not up to us to decide who they are, but to show them the same respect we would want in life.

We’re holding the media responsible

The media frequently ignores the requests of trans people who state their gender pronoun preference.  Many allies and activists have prompted change in news organizations, leading them to change their protocol on gender pronouns.  It’s important to keep using our voices.

We’re fighting transphobia and sexism

In our culture, it’s seen as bad or wrong to not fit within the male/female binary, acting outside of the gender of which our culture assigns us.  It’s not up to others to assign anything to us — and we need to realize that if we’re not transgender, and bring clarity to the obvious lack of understanding surrounding these cultural differences.  If you support gender equality, you’re playing a big part in walking the talk by being a trans ally.

We’re educating the community

It’s normal for some folks, activists included, to be confused by different pronouns.  It’s important to  learn them and then be patient as we’re educating others.  As allies, if we consistently use terms that are a true reflection of a person’s gender, we’re not only educating by example, we’re encouraging use of the proper terms by others in the community.  If it seems like a lot of work, just remember, it’s completely necessary and worth our attention.

6 Damaging Myths About Non-binary People

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The biggest myth about non-binary people is that they’re non-existent.

What does it mean to be non-binary? 

Non-binary gender identities cannot be fit into the male/female, accepted binary. It’s more simple to imagine an entire spectrum of gender and know that everyone fits somewhere on it and they don’t always necessarily remain in the exact same place. Yet, let’s remember that “male” and “female” do not begin and end this spectrum.  “Genderqueer” (GQ) is another word some use instead of non-binary. Here are six common ones that need debunking:

It’s just a fad
It is not an option to choose between male and female for gender identity for a non-binary person.  It’s not a game that anyone’s playing for attention…it’s very real.  Gender expression (the type of clothes you might choose to wear, for example) is not the same as gender identity. This is where a lot of people seem to get confused and think of non-binary people as if they’re folks trying to fit in with a trend.

Non-binary people are just confused
Confusion is natural for a lot of people and there’s nothing wrong with being confused.  It is part of the process of many trans people.  However, the fact that someone is non-binary doesn’t mean they’re confused.  It just means that they’re not male or female…or they are genderless (agender).

This is a new concept
The fact that non-binary folks haven’t received much recognition in the US until recently doesn’t mean it’s a new concept. There are  many cultures in the world who use words for genders that aren’t “male” or “female”.

Non-binary people want to destroy gender
Just because non-binary people want more options than “male” and “female” for gender doesn’t mean they’re trying to destroy gender.  This assumption doesn’t observe the fact that many non-binary people do have genders.

Non-binary is the same as intersex
Of course, this is untrue.  Being non-binary means you have a gender identity that doesn’t fit into the male or female genders.  When one is intersex, it means they’re born with a physical sex that isn’t classified as male or female.

Trans oppression is not experienced by non-binary people
Non-binary people experience more discrimination and violence in some circumstances, as they would have negativity coming from both cisgender and binary transgender communities.  This means less of a support system for non-binary folks as well as fewer safe places.  You can become a better ally to non-binary people by insisting on including them whenever the topic of gender arises.  You can be a part of the change that needs to happen in order for everyone to realize they matter just as much as anyone else.

5 Ways Bisexual Women Can Pursue Better Healthcare

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Many individuals in the LGBT+ community face significant issues with regard to health care. For example, bisexual women face a high risk of physical and mental health problems and have a higher likelihood of experiencing violence and addiction. Discrimination is often experienced within the healthcare system. The bisexual community is fighting this, to spread education and make quality healthcare more accessible.

There are some general guidelines that may be helpful for bisexual women who are looking for quality health care. Read on to learn the five ways bisexual women can take care of their health, even while facing exceptional challenges.

Be aware of risks
Bisexual women are more likely to experience addiction, smoke, have depression and have suicidal thoughts and/or attempts, compared to other groups. Bi woman are also at a higher risk for cancer than heterosexual women or lesbians and less likely to get screening. Amy André, a co-author of Bisexual Health: An Introduction said, “Research shows that bisexuals experience more discrimination, violence, and stigma than gays and lesbians.” She believes that the fact that bisexuals have the worst health is directly linked to the violence, stigma and discrimination.

Seek quality health care
Unfortunately, it’s not possible to assume that every doctor is able to cater to the unique needs of LGBT+ patients. It is easier in urban areas, but still more difficult to find a provider that doesn’t group bisexual patients with gay or straight women. There is a list of providers in the Gay and Lesbian Medical Association directory and the Bisexual-Aware Professionals Directory. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect and compassion.

Be your own advocate
You’ll need to be more assertive at times because some doctors will ask questions that are heteronormative. If you find that the doctor assumes you are a sexuality that you aren’t, you may need to answer broadly. You’ll want to make sure that you’re giving proper information about your past and current partners, and your sexuality. Some women will find it more difficult if they live in a small community with few doctors. Push yourself as far as you feel comfortable and remember that you can request certain types of screening for your physical and mental health.

Know your financial barriers
According to LGBT+ MAP’s Unfair Price study, bi women are more than twice as likely to live in poverty than the general population, and 29% of LGBT+ women have trouble finding affordable health care, compared to 19% of heterosexual women. Women in rural areas may experience even more difficulty. It’s of vital importance to have access to affordable health care. This could mean a visit to a free clinic, Planned Parenthood or a doctor’s office that takes your health insurance.

Get the word out
Form a support system and be supportive to others in a similar position. Doing this not only positively affects your chances of receiving affordable health care, it improves your health.

Popular Misconceptions About Bisexuals

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There are many harmful misconceptions out there regarding bisexuality.

These common assumptions exist in and outside of the LGBTI+ community.  Bisexuality is real and it’s here to stay.  Some of your friends might be bisexual (or you might be, of course) and won’t come out for fear of being judged harshly and incorrectly.  It’s time that everyone is able to put these myths to rest.

Bisexuals are attracted to men and women equally

Everyone is different.  Some who identify as bisexual might be attracted to one gender in a different way than they are to another and possibly much more.  Others do not believe that gender matters at all when it comes to their attractions.  It’s best to refer to the Kinsey scale to understand this more thoroughly. The Kinsey scale has sexual orientation displayed on a scale from 0 to 6.  Zero means that a person is completely heterosexual and 6 means exclusively homosexual. We can each fit anywhere on that scale…and we won’t necessarily stay in the exact spot.

Bisexuals are in a phase before coming out as homosexual

It is possible that some lesbian and gay people came out as bisexual first, but that’s not the rule.  It’s also true that some who identify as lesbian or gay end up coming out as bisexual.  Sexuality can be fluid for some, just like a lot of things in life.

We’re all bisexual or we’re all not bisexual

Bisexuality is real.  There are actually individuals who will be attracted to and have sex with both men and women for their entire lives.  This is not everyone, though.

Bisexuals can’t have a partner of just one gender

It’s a common misconception that bisexual people will need to be involved with both genders to be sexually and emotionally fulfilled.  There are many who are perfectly content having the partner they’re with at any given time and who want to be monogamous.

Bisexuals are just very promiscuous people…more than any other group

Just as with any other sexual orientation, there will be some people who are promiscuous and some who are extremely monogamous.  Sexual orientation is not the deciding factor here, the individual makes the decision.